Friday, April 16, 2004
Sex.
Good GOD, man, what the hell is wrong with me? It's like I'm freaking 17 again, and it's all I can think about. Constantly. Of course it's worse this week as I'm getting ready to ovulate (as if everyone who reads this needs to know such things), but it's true: for one week every month, I become a raging, seething hormonal lustbag. Why did this not happen while I was married? Oh yeah, the sex sucked. But that's a whole other story.
Every man of childbearing age I meet [freudian typo: meat] is quickly evaluated for fuckability. How did I go 10 solid years without so much as a sideways glance at a nubile frat boy in tight jeans, but now even the busboy's glances seem to imply that he's mine for the asking. The problem is, I really don't want a boyfriend right now. Honestly. I really don't. I don't have time for one, even if I fell truly, madly and deeply in love with The One and Only. I just really need to get laid. Isn't that pathetic?? When I realize how very not-20 I am, I wonder if all the other 20-year-olds I spend my mornings with have any clue how badly this "older woman" really needs to get banged. What I need is a fuck buddy. Just somebody to shag me rotten once in a while and leave me the hell alone in between.
Hell, I don't have it in me to do that, either. I am too emotionally intense to fuck and run. And so I go on sweating lust and pining for what is surely several months, if not years away.
Good GOD, man, what the hell is wrong with me? It's like I'm freaking 17 again, and it's all I can think about. Constantly. Of course it's worse this week as I'm getting ready to ovulate (as if everyone who reads this needs to know such things), but it's true: for one week every month, I become a raging, seething hormonal lustbag. Why did this not happen while I was married? Oh yeah, the sex sucked. But that's a whole other story.
Every man of childbearing age I meet [freudian typo: meat] is quickly evaluated for fuckability. How did I go 10 solid years without so much as a sideways glance at a nubile frat boy in tight jeans, but now even the busboy's glances seem to imply that he's mine for the asking. The problem is, I really don't want a boyfriend right now. Honestly. I really don't. I don't have time for one, even if I fell truly, madly and deeply in love with The One and Only. I just really need to get laid. Isn't that pathetic?? When I realize how very not-20 I am, I wonder if all the other 20-year-olds I spend my mornings with have any clue how badly this "older woman" really needs to get banged. What I need is a fuck buddy. Just somebody to shag me rotten once in a while and leave me the hell alone in between.
Hell, I don't have it in me to do that, either. I am too emotionally intense to fuck and run. And so I go on sweating lust and pining for what is surely several months, if not years away.
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