Sunday, May 16, 2004
Introducing the Weirdest Date I've Ever Had...
Saturday night I planned to go to Rusty's brother's house to spend some time with him and his relatives. I was a bit nervous about meeting his brother--obviously his family is so important to him: if I didn't click well with his brother, there is little hope of the relationship working out in the future. So I finished up at work and stopped at home to change clothes. What to wear?? The guys would be working on his car, rolling around on the floor (oh wait, get that image out of my head). His wife would have been hanging out with the kids all day... definitely a jeans and T-shirt kind of night. I got there and Rusty introduced me to his brother's feet. A pair of black sneakers stuck out from underneath the car, sort of a Wicked Mechanic of the East image. "Hi Sassy." came a voice from under the car. "Bet you didn't know Rusty's car talked." "I thought you looked familiar, Kit!" The David Hasselhoff and Knight Rider jokes ensued. The weather had turned cold and rainy that afternoon, so the car had been pulled carefully into a garage that was already too full to accommodate it, and I cautiously looked for something to lean against while the guys tinkered away, Rusty slowly moving between his perch on a crate to see over the top of the engine from above to assist Kit below, over to me to bury his face against my neck and take a deep breath, whispering in my ear, "You smell so good." or "I love you." He apologized million times, saying he'd hoped they'd be finished by that late hour, but it just wasn't happening. They had two parts to install and they hadn't gotten the first one on yet. Both guys were very frustrated. I felt a bit silly, but I knew I wouldn't have time on Sunday to spend with him, and I really wanted to be with him. I stood there for an hour making small talk with Kit's feet and stifling giggles when Rusty would come over and nuzzle for a second, trying to sneak in a kiss without Kit noticing, like a couple of teens. Just as Kit finally started to wiggle out from under the car, his upper half slowing rising into view, Rusty got down and slid under the car, his lower half lying there on the ground. Kit stood up and looked me in the eye, "Why hello there!" "Ah, he has a face!!" Rusty's voice came from under the car, and I had to ask, "Are you his evil twin? Because it seems I'm not allowed to see the both of you at the same time. Are you two some sort of shape-shifting creature??" They switched places again and resumed their tinkering, Rusty fetching tools while Kit cursed from under the hood. "Get me the rasp in the cabinet over there." he asked. His hand rested on the ground inches from my feet. Rusty rifled through the cabinet, "I can't find it, dude." Kit didn't respond. "Do you remember if you moved it?" No response. Rusty turned with a concerned look on his face. "Kit?" Still no response. His hand didn't move. His feet didn't move. Fuck. Rusty raced over to the side of the car, and slid under as fast as he could. I stood there trying not to get freaked out. I could hear him calling his brother's name, pretending to be calm, but just enough panic in his voice to concern me. Finally Kit's hand moved, and he murmured something unintelligible. A moment later, Rusty was pushing himself back out from under the car, apologizing to me as if they'd just belched too loudly or something. "He's OK, don't worry. That hasn't happened to him in a long time, but he's OK." Eventually he convinced his brother to call it a night, and we headed into the house. Rusty showed me "his room", and said he'd talked to his brother and it was OK for me to spend the night there if I wanted. I agreed, and headed to the bathroom to clean up before turning in. When I was finished, Rusty had gone upstairs to the kitchen. I figured he wanted to eat some of the treats I'd brought over from work as a "peace offering", so I headed to the kitchen. I turned the corner on the stairs to discover his brother lying on his back at the top of the stairs, and Rusty and Kit's wife Laura standing over him. He had passed out again. I waited on the landing for a couple of minutes, thinking it would pass after a few moments, as it had before. The three of us chatted a bit, Laura cracking jokes about her husband's bizarre condition. They told me that he'd had dozens of tests over the years and no one had been able to find the source of the problem. He has several different medications to help control it, but nothing was successful in stopping it altogether. They invited me to step over him and come up and get comfortable on the couch while they waited for him to wake up. I hesitated, thinking it'd be terribly awkward if not actually dangerous, but then timidly tiptoed around him. A couple more minutes passed, with no change. "Hey, I could kick his ASS right now while he's helpless." said Rusty. "It's about time I had the upper hand." he laughed. A few seconds later, Kit gasped loudly, and sat up quickly, flailing and kicking in self-defense, and immediately collapsed in a heap again before sinking into a full-on seizure. Laura and Rusty held his arms down and tried to steady him so he wouldn't fling himself down the stairs, and I sat there helpless, wishing like hell I could think of something to do to help. The seizure passed and once again he was unconscious.
Eventually, Rusty and I settled down on the couch watching Chris Rock on HBO while Laura sat on the floor next to her husband, stroking his hair, and talking to him when he'd drift back into consciousness. "Do you want to go to the emergency room?" "Do you want your medicine?" "Can you get up?" By about 3am, he was finally feeling well enough to get up and let Rusty help him to the couch. We watched some more TV, while I wondered exactly what we were waiting for at this point. I was curled up half asleep on his shoulder, giggling groggily at Chris Rock's interpretation of marital sex, when he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to fuck?" I laughed and blushed, looked up at him. He raised his eyebrows, as if to say, "Well DO you??" "You have to ASK?" "Then what the hell are we doing HERE?" I laughed and said, "Yes, it's way past my bedtime." But we were both far too tired for any pre-marital hi-jinx. We curled up together and drifted off instead, his arms around me and my hands on his. Warm and safe... a strange room and a weird freaking night, but still comfortable and content. When I woke up that morning, he lay there on his side, legs straight and arms folded across his chest, his lower lip poking out just so--he looked like a pouting 4 year old. OK, a pouting 4 year old with the biceps of a greek god, but petulant nonetheless. I couldn't help but laugh, kiss his stubbly cheek, whisper, "I love you." in his ear and lie down again. He groggily reached out to me and pulled me back into his arms. "I love you, Sassy."
Saturday night I planned to go to Rusty's brother's house to spend some time with him and his relatives. I was a bit nervous about meeting his brother--obviously his family is so important to him: if I didn't click well with his brother, there is little hope of the relationship working out in the future. So I finished up at work and stopped at home to change clothes. What to wear?? The guys would be working on his car, rolling around on the floor (oh wait, get that image out of my head). His wife would have been hanging out with the kids all day... definitely a jeans and T-shirt kind of night. I got there and Rusty introduced me to his brother's feet. A pair of black sneakers stuck out from underneath the car, sort of a Wicked Mechanic of the East image. "Hi Sassy." came a voice from under the car. "Bet you didn't know Rusty's car talked." "I thought you looked familiar, Kit!" The David Hasselhoff and Knight Rider jokes ensued. The weather had turned cold and rainy that afternoon, so the car had been pulled carefully into a garage that was already too full to accommodate it, and I cautiously looked for something to lean against while the guys tinkered away, Rusty slowly moving between his perch on a crate to see over the top of the engine from above to assist Kit below, over to me to bury his face against my neck and take a deep breath, whispering in my ear, "You smell so good." or "I love you." He apologized million times, saying he'd hoped they'd be finished by that late hour, but it just wasn't happening. They had two parts to install and they hadn't gotten the first one on yet. Both guys were very frustrated. I felt a bit silly, but I knew I wouldn't have time on Sunday to spend with him, and I really wanted to be with him. I stood there for an hour making small talk with Kit's feet and stifling giggles when Rusty would come over and nuzzle for a second, trying to sneak in a kiss without Kit noticing, like a couple of teens. Just as Kit finally started to wiggle out from under the car, his upper half slowing rising into view, Rusty got down and slid under the car, his lower half lying there on the ground. Kit stood up and looked me in the eye, "Why hello there!" "Ah, he has a face!!" Rusty's voice came from under the car, and I had to ask, "Are you his evil twin? Because it seems I'm not allowed to see the both of you at the same time. Are you two some sort of shape-shifting creature??" They switched places again and resumed their tinkering, Rusty fetching tools while Kit cursed from under the hood. "Get me the rasp in the cabinet over there." he asked. His hand rested on the ground inches from my feet. Rusty rifled through the cabinet, "I can't find it, dude." Kit didn't respond. "Do you remember if you moved it?" No response. Rusty turned with a concerned look on his face. "Kit?" Still no response. His hand didn't move. His feet didn't move. Fuck. Rusty raced over to the side of the car, and slid under as fast as he could. I stood there trying not to get freaked out. I could hear him calling his brother's name, pretending to be calm, but just enough panic in his voice to concern me. Finally Kit's hand moved, and he murmured something unintelligible. A moment later, Rusty was pushing himself back out from under the car, apologizing to me as if they'd just belched too loudly or something. "He's OK, don't worry. That hasn't happened to him in a long time, but he's OK." Eventually he convinced his brother to call it a night, and we headed into the house. Rusty showed me "his room", and said he'd talked to his brother and it was OK for me to spend the night there if I wanted. I agreed, and headed to the bathroom to clean up before turning in. When I was finished, Rusty had gone upstairs to the kitchen. I figured he wanted to eat some of the treats I'd brought over from work as a "peace offering", so I headed to the kitchen. I turned the corner on the stairs to discover his brother lying on his back at the top of the stairs, and Rusty and Kit's wife Laura standing over him. He had passed out again. I waited on the landing for a couple of minutes, thinking it would pass after a few moments, as it had before. The three of us chatted a bit, Laura cracking jokes about her husband's bizarre condition. They told me that he'd had dozens of tests over the years and no one had been able to find the source of the problem. He has several different medications to help control it, but nothing was successful in stopping it altogether. They invited me to step over him and come up and get comfortable on the couch while they waited for him to wake up. I hesitated, thinking it'd be terribly awkward if not actually dangerous, but then timidly tiptoed around him. A couple more minutes passed, with no change. "Hey, I could kick his ASS right now while he's helpless." said Rusty. "It's about time I had the upper hand." he laughed. A few seconds later, Kit gasped loudly, and sat up quickly, flailing and kicking in self-defense, and immediately collapsed in a heap again before sinking into a full-on seizure. Laura and Rusty held his arms down and tried to steady him so he wouldn't fling himself down the stairs, and I sat there helpless, wishing like hell I could think of something to do to help. The seizure passed and once again he was unconscious.
Eventually, Rusty and I settled down on the couch watching Chris Rock on HBO while Laura sat on the floor next to her husband, stroking his hair, and talking to him when he'd drift back into consciousness. "Do you want to go to the emergency room?" "Do you want your medicine?" "Can you get up?" By about 3am, he was finally feeling well enough to get up and let Rusty help him to the couch. We watched some more TV, while I wondered exactly what we were waiting for at this point. I was curled up half asleep on his shoulder, giggling groggily at Chris Rock's interpretation of marital sex, when he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to fuck?" I laughed and blushed, looked up at him. He raised his eyebrows, as if to say, "Well DO you??" "You have to ASK?" "Then what the hell are we doing HERE?" I laughed and said, "Yes, it's way past my bedtime." But we were both far too tired for any pre-marital hi-jinx. We curled up together and drifted off instead, his arms around me and my hands on his. Warm and safe... a strange room and a weird freaking night, but still comfortable and content. When I woke up that morning, he lay there on his side, legs straight and arms folded across his chest, his lower lip poking out just so--he looked like a pouting 4 year old. OK, a pouting 4 year old with the biceps of a greek god, but petulant nonetheless. I couldn't help but laugh, kiss his stubbly cheek, whisper, "I love you." in his ear and lie down again. He groggily reached out to me and pulled me back into his arms. "I love you, Sassy."
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