Friday, May 07, 2004
Relatively good conversation with Shitfoot today. Almost earned him a "STBX" pseudonym again instead. The kids are at school/daycare, and I don't work until this afternoon, so we were both home alone for the first time in just about ever. He asked me to go to lunch with him. (Turns out he needed my debit card because he still hadn't received the replacement for the one he lost at a bar somewhere last weekend) In any case, I used it as an opportunity to have a discussion with him about his recent attempts at parenting in a public venue, where I felt a little more safe confronting him.
It went pretty much as I expected it to: reticent admission of guilt, defensive apologies, lame excuses, vague promises. He also predictably attempted to cut me off and instruct me not to bother discussing it because he "already knows", but I told him he had to sit and listen because I had to have the words spoken aloud and he'd just have to bear with me for a moment. So he shut up, I said the words, he grunted in acknowledgement. I asked him what reassurance I had that this sort of irresponsible behavior would not be going on when they were in his home and I wouldn't be showing up to bail him out. He could only say he understood my concerns. "Just so you know where I stand: sleeping while you are in charge of them is ILLEGAL. You can be arrested for it, and have custody taken away. My leaving them with you knowing you'll be sleeping is also illegal and *I* can lose custody, too. Do you want them in foster care because you wanted a nap?"
He mentioned that we will both have to take parenting classes as part of the divorce agreement. I hope so, it certainly can't hurt him. Although he is the Master of Going Through The Motions. He'll charm the teacher into getting him out of the class ASAP, and he won't bother to change his ways. It's very depressing.
I asked him about his "pathetic dates". He claims that at least 3 of the women he met actually LITERALLY took one look at him and turned around and left. I'm wondering if some of my friends didn't set that up on purpose just to kick him in the balls a little. Seriously--did you? Another group "drank all day", he claims. Which is the apparent hallmark of alcoholism in Shitfoot World. We did not discuss Rusty. Although earlier that morning, Rusty called me briefly on a break at work to be cheered up because he was having a crappy day. When I got off the phone, Shitfoot says, "That guy sure calls you a lot." "Yes he does." "I think he's in love with you." "Apparently he is, yes."
It went pretty much as I expected it to: reticent admission of guilt, defensive apologies, lame excuses, vague promises. He also predictably attempted to cut me off and instruct me not to bother discussing it because he "already knows", but I told him he had to sit and listen because I had to have the words spoken aloud and he'd just have to bear with me for a moment. So he shut up, I said the words, he grunted in acknowledgement. I asked him what reassurance I had that this sort of irresponsible behavior would not be going on when they were in his home and I wouldn't be showing up to bail him out. He could only say he understood my concerns. "Just so you know where I stand: sleeping while you are in charge of them is ILLEGAL. You can be arrested for it, and have custody taken away. My leaving them with you knowing you'll be sleeping is also illegal and *I* can lose custody, too. Do you want them in foster care because you wanted a nap?"
He mentioned that we will both have to take parenting classes as part of the divorce agreement. I hope so, it certainly can't hurt him. Although he is the Master of Going Through The Motions. He'll charm the teacher into getting him out of the class ASAP, and he won't bother to change his ways. It's very depressing.
I asked him about his "pathetic dates". He claims that at least 3 of the women he met actually LITERALLY took one look at him and turned around and left. I'm wondering if some of my friends didn't set that up on purpose just to kick him in the balls a little. Seriously--did you? Another group "drank all day", he claims. Which is the apparent hallmark of alcoholism in Shitfoot World. We did not discuss Rusty. Although earlier that morning, Rusty called me briefly on a break at work to be cheered up because he was having a crappy day. When I got off the phone, Shitfoot says, "That guy sure calls you a lot." "Yes he does." "I think he's in love with you." "Apparently he is, yes."
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