Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Did I forget to mention the multiple orgasms? Sure, sure, Sass, downplay the XXX parts, why don't you? Brag about how relaxed and down-home the whole weekend was. I've had a crappy week so far...
So I'd like to focus on the positive (if not simply gratuitously lurid) for a moment: I love sex. Correct that: I love sex with Rusty. I love that I can have sex again with a person I find very, very attractive. [Sidebar: Here's an exercise for you: imagine yourself married for 10 years to the worst lover you ever had. Ten Very Long Years. I had a lot to get out of my system, I swear.] I love that the feeling is mutual. I love that he is gooooooooooood at it, too. I love the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, the way he touches me and the way he is willing to do anything and everything to please me. I can only hope that he is as thrilled and intoxicated by it as I am. I'd had good sex before (admittedly not in this century). I'd had great sex before, even. What I hadn't had was Consistently Great Sex.
And I'm not singing Rusty's praises just to butter him up for anything [damn, I'll have to remember that technique, though]. I was just staring at the walls today and realizing how damned lucky I am to have him. Yes, it sucks that he lives so damned far away. And right now my life is a fucking snowglobe being shaken up... it's gonna be a while before things settle down enough that I can see what the fuck is really going on. Right now our relationship is still very fresh--though we recently passed the 3-month mark--so it's difficult to separate the sexual from the emotional. I realize that. So when I say that I am in love with that guy, faults and all, you can rest assured that the notion did not come easily to me, that I don't say it casually, and that it won't be changing any time soon.
So if life is all daisies and sunshine, why the fuck am I so shitting irritable?? Oh yeah that unemployment thing. Last week I interviewed with a very swanky hotel downtown. Very positive interview. Did they call me on Monday like they said they would? Hell no. But hey, I wasn't chomping at the bit to work for peanuts anyway. I'm pretty sure I could get what they are offering at McDonald's for crap-sake. So on Saturday when Dee called me to ask if I were interested in working at the grocery store she'd just started at, luring me with a substantially higher rate. I high-tailed it up there on Monday to get the application, and got an interview this afternoon. Of course it went well, and pending the results of my drug test (of course I'll pass... unless they're testing for Diet Coke) it sounds as if they'll offer me a job... in their "upscale deli", at about $2/hr less than Dee is making. I'm SOFA KING confused. I tried to reach Dee to ask about it but couldn't get through. Damned cell phone. I'll try again tomorrow. Anyway it seems as if life is trying to tell me something. I'm sure it'll be obvious on the other side of this, but for now, I'm stymied.
So I'd like to focus on the positive (if not simply gratuitously lurid) for a moment: I love sex. Correct that: I love sex with Rusty. I love that I can have sex again with a person I find very, very attractive. [Sidebar: Here's an exercise for you: imagine yourself married for 10 years to the worst lover you ever had. Ten Very Long Years. I had a lot to get out of my system, I swear.] I love that the feeling is mutual. I love that he is gooooooooooood at it, too. I love the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, the way he touches me and the way he is willing to do anything and everything to please me. I can only hope that he is as thrilled and intoxicated by it as I am. I'd had good sex before (admittedly not in this century). I'd had great sex before, even. What I hadn't had was Consistently Great Sex.
And I'm not singing Rusty's praises just to butter him up for anything [damn, I'll have to remember that technique, though]. I was just staring at the walls today and realizing how damned lucky I am to have him. Yes, it sucks that he lives so damned far away. And right now my life is a fucking snowglobe being shaken up... it's gonna be a while before things settle down enough that I can see what the fuck is really going on. Right now our relationship is still very fresh--though we recently passed the 3-month mark--so it's difficult to separate the sexual from the emotional. I realize that. So when I say that I am in love with that guy, faults and all, you can rest assured that the notion did not come easily to me, that I don't say it casually, and that it won't be changing any time soon.
So if life is all daisies and sunshine, why the fuck am I so shitting irritable?? Oh yeah that unemployment thing. Last week I interviewed with a very swanky hotel downtown. Very positive interview. Did they call me on Monday like they said they would? Hell no. But hey, I wasn't chomping at the bit to work for peanuts anyway. I'm pretty sure I could get what they are offering at McDonald's for crap-sake. So on Saturday when Dee called me to ask if I were interested in working at the grocery store she'd just started at, luring me with a substantially higher rate. I high-tailed it up there on Monday to get the application, and got an interview this afternoon. Of course it went well, and pending the results of my drug test (of course I'll pass... unless they're testing for Diet Coke) it sounds as if they'll offer me a job... in their "upscale deli", at about $2/hr less than Dee is making. I'm SOFA KING confused. I tried to reach Dee to ask about it but couldn't get through. Damned cell phone. I'll try again tomorrow. Anyway it seems as if life is trying to tell me something. I'm sure it'll be obvious on the other side of this, but for now, I'm stymied.
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