Tuesday, August 10, 2004
I have been accused, in the past, of being cold, emotionally cut off. This is why. The saying is wrong. There are 3 things that are certain in this life: death, taxes and disappointment.
After a lifetime of 2nd place, you'd think I'd learn to stop trying. But a wave of naiveté overtakes me and I make the foolish mistake of taking up the gauntlet of hope, and even allow myself to want something good for myself. To entertain the idea that I may be capable of attaining a goal, of receiving something good, of having a life that doesn't bore the crap out of me. If I were writing an autobiography, it would have to be titled, "At Least I Have My Health." That said, with my luck, I've got an enormous cancerous growth hiding in me somewhere that is just waiting for the right moment to start causing excruciating pain and dragging me slowly closer to death.
Loser, loser, loser...
After a lifetime of 2nd place, you'd think I'd learn to stop trying. But a wave of naiveté overtakes me and I make the foolish mistake of taking up the gauntlet of hope, and even allow myself to want something good for myself. To entertain the idea that I may be capable of attaining a goal, of receiving something good, of having a life that doesn't bore the crap out of me. If I were writing an autobiography, it would have to be titled, "At Least I Have My Health." That said, with my luck, I've got an enormous cancerous growth hiding in me somewhere that is just waiting for the right moment to start causing excruciating pain and dragging me slowly closer to death.
Loser, loser, loser...
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