Monday, August 09, 2004
Still waiting to hear from Dream Job. I called on Saturday, as he told me was OK, and he told me he still hadn't made his decision, he had it narrowed down to "two of you", and he'd decide on Sunday and call me today. So I got plenty of sleep last night, naturally.
In the meantime, Rusty's going through another tough patch. I feel so bad for him, but there's nothing I can do. His divorce is nearly complete, too, it turns out. Final papers are being signed this week, and that's all there is to it, since they did the bulk of it when they separated last year. It had been dragging on for so long, I think it really caught him off guard. It's really sad to see them both hurting so much--clearly, they both love each other very much. But she can't forgive him. A year later and she still can't let it go enough to get past it. And it hurts him so much to be separated from his daughter, it just tears him up. All that pain, and it didn't have to be that way.
In the meantime, I'm beginning to see Her side of things... don't get me wrong, I love Rusty--truer and purer than I care to admit, but his faults are difficult to deal with at times. The moodiness, well who isn't moody? I'm pretty immune to moodiness after living with Shitfoot for so long. The suicidal depression has to be treated, of course, and I don't expect that to be a constant companion, but we'll see about that. The stubbornness. The stubbornness runs about a mile deeper than anyone I have ever met. It can become downright stoicism. He doesn't deal with changes well, as I've found. Yes, the move was very difficult on him, and he's still adjusting, so he gets a pass on that as far as I think is reasonable. But an example: after my interview on Thursday, I was hungry. It took me 30 minutes to convince him to leave the apartment to get something to eat. But he refused to sit down in a restaurant with me and eat something, because he had a frozen pizza back at home that he had bought for his dinner last week, so there was no need to buy dinner somewhere else. He has no kitchen table or chairs, so I had to buy fast food and eat on the floor. Now, in some ways, this was no big deal: it harkened back to the "We were soooo poor..." days, it builds camaraderie, and wasn't a huge imposition, as the visit wasn't planned very far in advance, and I didn't expect a "date-like" atmosphere. But the reason he wouldn't buy something in a restaurant was because he had a frozen dinner?? That's the point of frozen dinners, isn't it? That they'll keep til you want it? The whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. And that combined with his food issues... oh the food issues. Shall I remind you now that I'm a chef? Rusty has a list of about 5 different foods that he will eat. Everything else is "no." No beans. No peppers. No onions. No sausage. No Mexican. That's right: NO MEXICAN FOOD! He's lactose intolerant, but he scarfs pizza like it's water.
So here's the thing: I can't change him. It's not my job to change him. I don't want to CHANGE him. But that's gotta change, LOL. Seriously, though: it is difficult for me to understand, and it could become a serious issue for me. Is it shallow to break up with someone you love because you don't like how they eat? I think it is, but then, food is my LIFE. It's what I DO. Is it POSSIBLE for me to be happy with someone who eats like that?
In the meantime, Rusty's going through another tough patch. I feel so bad for him, but there's nothing I can do. His divorce is nearly complete, too, it turns out. Final papers are being signed this week, and that's all there is to it, since they did the bulk of it when they separated last year. It had been dragging on for so long, I think it really caught him off guard. It's really sad to see them both hurting so much--clearly, they both love each other very much. But she can't forgive him. A year later and she still can't let it go enough to get past it. And it hurts him so much to be separated from his daughter, it just tears him up. All that pain, and it didn't have to be that way.
In the meantime, I'm beginning to see Her side of things... don't get me wrong, I love Rusty--truer and purer than I care to admit, but his faults are difficult to deal with at times. The moodiness, well who isn't moody? I'm pretty immune to moodiness after living with Shitfoot for so long. The suicidal depression has to be treated, of course, and I don't expect that to be a constant companion, but we'll see about that. The stubbornness. The stubbornness runs about a mile deeper than anyone I have ever met. It can become downright stoicism. He doesn't deal with changes well, as I've found. Yes, the move was very difficult on him, and he's still adjusting, so he gets a pass on that as far as I think is reasonable. But an example: after my interview on Thursday, I was hungry. It took me 30 minutes to convince him to leave the apartment to get something to eat. But he refused to sit down in a restaurant with me and eat something, because he had a frozen pizza back at home that he had bought for his dinner last week, so there was no need to buy dinner somewhere else. He has no kitchen table or chairs, so I had to buy fast food and eat on the floor. Now, in some ways, this was no big deal: it harkened back to the "We were soooo poor..." days, it builds camaraderie, and wasn't a huge imposition, as the visit wasn't planned very far in advance, and I didn't expect a "date-like" atmosphere. But the reason he wouldn't buy something in a restaurant was because he had a frozen dinner?? That's the point of frozen dinners, isn't it? That they'll keep til you want it? The whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. And that combined with his food issues... oh the food issues. Shall I remind you now that I'm a chef? Rusty has a list of about 5 different foods that he will eat. Everything else is "no." No beans. No peppers. No onions. No sausage. No Mexican. That's right: NO MEXICAN FOOD! He's lactose intolerant, but he scarfs pizza like it's water.
So here's the thing: I can't change him. It's not my job to change him. I don't want to CHANGE him. But that's gotta change, LOL. Seriously, though: it is difficult for me to understand, and it could become a serious issue for me. Is it shallow to break up with someone you love because you don't like how they eat? I think it is, but then, food is my LIFE. It's what I DO. Is it POSSIBLE for me to be happy with someone who eats like that?
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