Saturday, November 27, 2004
Ah, Thanksgiving.
I never knew how much I liked it until the day I realized that I had to work all day and my kids would be 2 hours away from me. Suddenly I felt very lonely. The anticipation of it sent me into a depressive spiral, feeling bitter and angry and constantly agitated.
Thursday morning, I came in, bright and early as requested. Kroger was doing their employees a "favor" by closing early. They're not fooling anyone, they closed at 5 because that was the point of diminishing returns--they wouldn't make enough money to justify paying everyone to be there. And they could only stay open that long because they got out of paying "new" (less than a year) employee holiday pay. I digress into bitching, sorry. Back to the story... go to work on Thanksgiving morning. But when I get there, they're not working. Seems the coolers have a freon leak and everything out in the cases had spoiled overnight. We spent the morning throwing out food and the afternoon standing around waiting to see if they could fix it. I scrubbed a frying pan. It's really clean now.
Finally, around 3pm, they let me go home. I rushed home and got cleaned up, Rusty came over and took me to his grandma's, where I got a nice big plateful of food and a couple hours' worth of chatting around the kitchen table. Just enough "down home" to remind me of the way I spent Thanksgiving as a kid.
And what Thanksgiving is complete without a nightcap of hot, wild, XXX activity? So it turned out to be a pretty darned good day after all.
Rusty has been spending the extended holiday weekend with me. It sucks that I have to work through it, but it's been unspeakably fantastic having him here when I come home. I wish I could explain what's happened between us lately, but things have really warmed and blossomed. I'm actually (glancing around nervously) happy.
It just hit me today. Yes, things are crazy and busy, and upside down, plenty to worry about, way too much to do and not enough time to do it. But I really am happy. I went to my employee training at my new job today. 6 hours of sitting (Lord, how did I ever sit at a desk all day without falling asleep???) listening to discussions that only applied to me about 15% of the time. When the training session ended, I was called into a meeting with the owners and the "other managers". Yes, I am a manager. So it was the owners (the husband is the Executive Chef, and the wife is the General Manager), the Sous Chef (Tanner), and the Front of House Manager (Summer), and ME, in a meeting. A Very Important People Meeting. "Chef" (funny, his name is Jeff, so you don't really hear the difference between "Jeff" and "Chef" when someone addresses him) told these people, based on a couple of quick conversations we'd had during breaks in the session, that he wants to give me more time to concentrate on desserts than he had originally planned because [check out this quote], "she is obviously far more talented and skilled than we had anticipated, and I really want to utilize that." I made suggestions, he didn't argue, fuss or fight it, he immediately deferred to my judgment. He asked my opinion. He listened. Oh my GOD, people, I GOT RESPECT.
And on the drive home, I just burst into tears. I couldn't help it. I was just so fucking overwhelmed by it all. A job I can feel proud of, where I get respect. I've actually reached that goal... sooner than I thought I ever could, and to top it all off, I get to be with the man I love. At first, I couldn't figure out what I was feeling--all jittery, but not nervous, overwhelmingly intense... and it hit me. I am happy. This is what happy feels like. I cried like a baby.
I never knew how much I liked it until the day I realized that I had to work all day and my kids would be 2 hours away from me. Suddenly I felt very lonely. The anticipation of it sent me into a depressive spiral, feeling bitter and angry and constantly agitated.
Thursday morning, I came in, bright and early as requested. Kroger was doing their employees a "favor" by closing early. They're not fooling anyone, they closed at 5 because that was the point of diminishing returns--they wouldn't make enough money to justify paying everyone to be there. And they could only stay open that long because they got out of paying "new" (less than a year) employee holiday pay. I digress into bitching, sorry. Back to the story... go to work on Thanksgiving morning. But when I get there, they're not working. Seems the coolers have a freon leak and everything out in the cases had spoiled overnight. We spent the morning throwing out food and the afternoon standing around waiting to see if they could fix it. I scrubbed a frying pan. It's really clean now.
Finally, around 3pm, they let me go home. I rushed home and got cleaned up, Rusty came over and took me to his grandma's, where I got a nice big plateful of food and a couple hours' worth of chatting around the kitchen table. Just enough "down home" to remind me of the way I spent Thanksgiving as a kid.
And what Thanksgiving is complete without a nightcap of hot, wild, XXX activity? So it turned out to be a pretty darned good day after all.
Rusty has been spending the extended holiday weekend with me. It sucks that I have to work through it, but it's been unspeakably fantastic having him here when I come home. I wish I could explain what's happened between us lately, but things have really warmed and blossomed. I'm actually (glancing around nervously) happy.
It just hit me today. Yes, things are crazy and busy, and upside down, plenty to worry about, way too much to do and not enough time to do it. But I really am happy. I went to my employee training at my new job today. 6 hours of sitting (Lord, how did I ever sit at a desk all day without falling asleep???) listening to discussions that only applied to me about 15% of the time. When the training session ended, I was called into a meeting with the owners and the "other managers". Yes, I am a manager. So it was the owners (the husband is the Executive Chef, and the wife is the General Manager), the Sous Chef (Tanner), and the Front of House Manager (Summer), and ME, in a meeting. A Very Important People Meeting. "Chef" (funny, his name is Jeff, so you don't really hear the difference between "Jeff" and "Chef" when someone addresses him) told these people, based on a couple of quick conversations we'd had during breaks in the session, that he wants to give me more time to concentrate on desserts than he had originally planned because [check out this quote], "she is obviously far more talented and skilled than we had anticipated, and I really want to utilize that." I made suggestions, he didn't argue, fuss or fight it, he immediately deferred to my judgment. He asked my opinion. He listened. Oh my GOD, people, I GOT RESPECT.
And on the drive home, I just burst into tears. I couldn't help it. I was just so fucking overwhelmed by it all. A job I can feel proud of, where I get respect. I've actually reached that goal... sooner than I thought I ever could, and to top it all off, I get to be with the man I love. At first, I couldn't figure out what I was feeling--all jittery, but not nervous, overwhelmingly intense... and it hit me. I am happy. This is what happy feels like. I cried like a baby.
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