Saturday, November 06, 2004
Waiting on pins and needles to hear from Shitfoot. As far as I know, he has not yet gotten word of the investigation. He took the kids to see "The Incredibles" this morning, and will be delivering them back to me after the movie... hopefully BEFORE he goes home if there's a note stuck in his door like there was in mine.
I'm worried. Angry. Sad. When he got his first DUI, he had to go through "alcohol reeducation classes". He bitched and complained about what a huge waste of time it was, how stupid the people there were, how self-riteous the "teacher" was. He went through the motions to finish the class to get his license back. And months after the 7 years had passed and the DUI was expunged from his record, he got another one. And I expect he'll do the same with his children. This won't change his behavior, it'll just give him one more set of people to hate, one more thing to bitch about being victimized over. And now every time I stand up to his irrational temper, he'll throw it in my face as if it were all my fault somehow. I can hear it now, "What, are YOU going to call the cops on me TOO??"
His mother pointed out something to me I hadn't thought about. Since he moved to his apartment, he has done absolutely nothing to make the kids welcome there. They have no beds (they sleep on cushions that fold into chairs). They have no toys (he has repeatedly neglected my efforts to get him to come get a box or two full of cars and dolls to keep over there, "I want to keep MY place CLEAN!"). Just yesterday, both kids begged me to let them bring over a Spongebob Squarepants video game disk because he has no kids games at his house. My 3 year old has been playing Doom3 and Halo. He's been having financial difficulty, and told me earlier this week he's going to HAVE to move into a one-bedroom apartment. This man doesn't even WANT his kids around him. And when the social worker sees that they don't have beds, he's not going to be allowed to keep them overnight anymore. And somehow, I just KNOW it's going to be all MY FAULT, and any attempt I make to try to keep him in line with the state's requirements is going to be met with fierce opposition.
I don't want to fight with him, and I especially don't want to fight with him about our kids. I want him to be willing to do anything and everything to spend time with his kids and make sure they have everything they need to be safe and happy. Like, for example, RUSTY does for his daughter. Surely there's room in this world for more than one man like that.
But no, I don't expect much from Shitfoot. Not much good, anyway.
I'm worried. Angry. Sad. When he got his first DUI, he had to go through "alcohol reeducation classes". He bitched and complained about what a huge waste of time it was, how stupid the people there were, how self-riteous the "teacher" was. He went through the motions to finish the class to get his license back. And months after the 7 years had passed and the DUI was expunged from his record, he got another one. And I expect he'll do the same with his children. This won't change his behavior, it'll just give him one more set of people to hate, one more thing to bitch about being victimized over. And now every time I stand up to his irrational temper, he'll throw it in my face as if it were all my fault somehow. I can hear it now, "What, are YOU going to call the cops on me TOO??"
His mother pointed out something to me I hadn't thought about. Since he moved to his apartment, he has done absolutely nothing to make the kids welcome there. They have no beds (they sleep on cushions that fold into chairs). They have no toys (he has repeatedly neglected my efforts to get him to come get a box or two full of cars and dolls to keep over there, "I want to keep MY place CLEAN!"). Just yesterday, both kids begged me to let them bring over a Spongebob Squarepants video game disk because he has no kids games at his house. My 3 year old has been playing Doom3 and Halo. He's been having financial difficulty, and told me earlier this week he's going to HAVE to move into a one-bedroom apartment. This man doesn't even WANT his kids around him. And when the social worker sees that they don't have beds, he's not going to be allowed to keep them overnight anymore. And somehow, I just KNOW it's going to be all MY FAULT, and any attempt I make to try to keep him in line with the state's requirements is going to be met with fierce opposition.
I don't want to fight with him, and I especially don't want to fight with him about our kids. I want him to be willing to do anything and everything to spend time with his kids and make sure they have everything they need to be safe and happy. Like, for example, RUSTY does for his daughter. Surely there's room in this world for more than one man like that.
But no, I don't expect much from Shitfoot. Not much good, anyway.
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