Thursday, May 12, 2005
Can't. Stop. Hyperventilating.
~wheeeeeeze~ ~wheeeeeeze~ ~cough~ ~cough~ ~wheeeeeeze~
Pardon me while I try to stifle a panic attack, I'm having a serious Crazed Mom moment.
Today on the drive home, DD chats with me:
DD: "Matthew said he thinks that Mikayla is hot and sexy."
Me: [choking on tongue] "Oh really?"
DD: "Yeah, and he says Heidi is hot and sexy, too."
Me: [Is the air being sucked out of the car? I can't breathe.]
DD: "He shouldn't say that."
Me: "Why is that?"
DD: "Well, he shouldn't use words like that. Why do you think he says those words?"
Me: "Maybe he's got a big brother that uses words like that, so he thinks it's cool."
DD: "Oh. Anyway, he shouldn't use words like that, he's not a grown up."
Me: "Yeah, I think 1st Grade is too young for things like that. You've got plenty of time for that stuff when you get older."
DD: [laughs] "Yeah, we're only FIRST GRADERS!!"
Me: "Yeah. Did it embarass you when he said that?"
DD: "No. And anyway, he said it about me, too."
Me: [Mustering as much of the 'Calm Mommy Voice' as I can] "Oh he did?"
DD: "Yes."
Me: "Did it embarass you when he said that?"
DD: "No, because nobody noticed. He whispered it in my ear."
OK, it's taking every ounce of self-control not to go on a manhunt to beat down the deviant little fiend that whispered those words in my 7-year-old's ear. She's SEVEN, people!!!! Say it with me: MY SEVEN YEAR OLD IS NOT HOT AND SEXY!!! I can't even hear those words said about ME without breaking out in hives. But I promise, the next person to make such an assertion about my seven year old daughter is going to be picking my shoe out of his ASS.
~wheeeeeeze~ ~wheeeeeeze~ ~cough~ ~cough~ ~wheeeeeeze~
Pardon me while I try to stifle a panic attack, I'm having a serious Crazed Mom moment.
Today on the drive home, DD chats with me:
DD: "Matthew said he thinks that Mikayla is hot and sexy."
Me: [choking on tongue] "Oh really?"
DD: "Yeah, and he says Heidi is hot and sexy, too."
Me: [Is the air being sucked out of the car? I can't breathe.]
DD: "He shouldn't say that."
Me: "Why is that?"
DD: "Well, he shouldn't use words like that. Why do you think he says those words?"
Me: "Maybe he's got a big brother that uses words like that, so he thinks it's cool."
DD: "Oh. Anyway, he shouldn't use words like that, he's not a grown up."
Me: "Yeah, I think 1st Grade is too young for things like that. You've got plenty of time for that stuff when you get older."
DD: [laughs] "Yeah, we're only FIRST GRADERS!!"
Me: "Yeah. Did it embarass you when he said that?"
DD: "No. And anyway, he said it about me, too."
Me: [Mustering as much of the 'Calm Mommy Voice' as I can] "Oh he did?"
DD: "Yes."
Me: "Did it embarass you when he said that?"
DD: "No, because nobody noticed. He whispered it in my ear."
OK, it's taking every ounce of self-control not to go on a manhunt to beat down the deviant little fiend that whispered those words in my 7-year-old's ear. She's SEVEN, people!!!! Say it with me: MY SEVEN YEAR OLD IS NOT HOT AND SEXY!!! I can't even hear those words said about ME without breaking out in hives. But I promise, the next person to make such an assertion about my seven year old daughter is going to be picking my shoe out of his ASS.
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