Sunday, January 08, 2006
Racism. I like to think that I'm not really racist. I try to remind myself that character isn't related to nationality or skin color and such. I also know that 98% of my friends have always been exactly like me culturally speaking, and it's that 2% that I learned the most from. I think it's natural to want to be with people that you identify with in some way--most people would consider spending most of their time immersed in or associating with people from other cultures as uncomfortable or even threatening. It's a primal thing, really. Something related to tribes of cavemen written on our DNA. So I think it's normal to have to constantly remind yourself that those feelings aren't based in reality.
Even so, it bugs me when I have to remind myself that... and it seems I have those moments more and more often at work. It's frustrating. Dealing with the public as a profession tends to encourage stereotypical thinking. At my store, we have a few stereotypes. Some deserved, some not. And I was disturbed at first to overhear them among my co-workers, and then annoyed when I noticed the same traits they hinted at. Now I go through a cycle of irritation: mad at the person for being the stereotype, mad at me for identifying the trait and attaching it to their race or nationality, mad at co-workers for pointing the connection out, mad at the people who demonstarted the stereotype enough to start it to begin with...
I'll be honest, I don't mentally list the stereotypes a person might play into when they walk in the door. But I notice when they start doing it.
For example:
Men: (assumed straight, most likely white) when trying on clothes, men tend to return the clothes but not the hangers. If they choose an item out on the floor without trying it on, they are most likely of all groups to simply remove it and leave the empty hanger hanging on the rack (or worse, on the floor or a nearby shelf). Men don't "shop" the way women do, they look, they find, then grab and go. They HATE trying on clothes and if they make it to the fitting room with something to try on, they are not generally happy about it and will be more likely to be rude to the clerks. They hate the fitting room so much that they're more willing to try on the clothes out on the floor, stripping down to as much as they think they can get away with (I've seen men in their undershirts and boxers, I swear), leaving a trail of bunched up rejects and mishung items all around them.
Gay Men: most likely to follow the female stereotypes of their race.
Metrosexual Men: such a conundrum. Lots of these guys get labeled as gay as they enter the fitting room because they're clearly not as bitter about having to try on their clothes as most guys (and they're already well dressed--straight men don't tend to dress up to go shopping). And then a woman shows up and says, "Is my husband back there? I want him to try these pants, too..." I swear I'm shocked every time it happens.
Teens/Male: total pains in the ass, not shopping for clothes so much as being forced to go buy something needed for a specific event and obviously more interested in gawking at the women in the store. Travel in pairs. Can be likely to be caught in the fitting room trying to catch a glimpse of women in various stages of undress, or simply watching the "show" if they come out to see their clothes in the 3-way mirror. Highly likely to crack a joke about the word "3-way".
Married Men (over 30): shopping for something for wife? It will be returned within a week. By her. Often found standing outside the fitting room holding a baby, blanketed with baby gear, and staring blankly into space with a look on his face like he wants to swallow a cyanide pill.
Grandpas shopping with granddaughter: will buy anything she wants without looking at the price tag. She knows it, too.
Grandpas shopping with wife: same as Married Man over 30, minus baby.
Teen/female: Total pains in the ass. Likely to shoplift by shoving something small under their clothes or in their purse. Travel in groups of 4 or more. Very loud, busier talking than paying attention to anything else around them. Will leave a mess in the fitting room.
Young Moms: Rude. Too busy keeping kids in check to take a second to be courteous.
Lesbians: (well, the obvious ones, anyway) will try on men's clothes, but try to do as little as possible to draw attention to themselves. In the fitting room, they tend to be very shy and won't look you in the eye.
And on to the races:
African Americans: hostile. Ready to argue about anything. Most likely to find signs that indicate an incorrect price to their advantage. Although my management team seems to assume they are more likely to be shoplifting, I am glad to report that I haven't seen anything to reinforce that idea.
Asians: Rude. Probably because they don't speak the language well. When traveling in groups, behavior is amplified. You can tell everywhere in the store they've been shopping because every stack they touch is unfolded and undone, there are clothes falling off their hangers, items picked up in one part of the store are unceremoniously dumped in another. They sail past you at the fitting room entrance and act annoyed when you stop them to open a locked door for them. Most likely to be wearing XS and size 0 or 2. Leave an enormous mess in the fitting room: everything wadded up on the floor, turned inside out, tags torn off, hangers twisted into a knot. Will not bring anything back to you, you will have to go fetch it and rehang everything.
Indian: stink. The men, that is. Men are rude and pushy, treat female employes disrespectfully. Women are very friendly, but not likely to buy much of what they try on.
Eastern European: Also stink, regardless of gender, though not as strongly. Will also not bring anything out of the fitting room themselves, though they may take pity on you and rehang a few things before they leave.
Mexican: several kids roaming the store freely, loudly and unsupervised. Won't buy anything. Probably left with a stroller full of stolen clothes.
So a couple weeks ago, when my manager asked me to keep an eye on a couple of guys in Zone 1 (i.e: she suspected they'd try to steal something), I was pissed off (but not surprised) to find that the customers in question were black. I was amused, however, when it became clearly obvious that the two men in question were gay. Not that gay men don't steal, but clearly these guys were more interested trying on the clothes than stealing them. They were dressed, however, in the typical urban-gansta style, so it was clearly a judgement made on appearances. Very frustrating stuff. And when the family with the screaming baby who'd been in the store for 30 minutes today before finally came to the fitting room and turned out to be Mexican, tried on a dozen things and didn't buy any of them, it didn't exactly please me to have noticed... And Friday evening after having the store in perfect condition, then helping a group of Asian women in the fitting room, I was royally pissed to see the disheveled state of the store when they left (given the fact that they were the only customers in the store I think it's safe to assume they were responsible).
How do you erase those stereotypes from your memory? I wish I could just be annoyed by rude customers and not even notice the connection...
Even so, it bugs me when I have to remind myself that... and it seems I have those moments more and more often at work. It's frustrating. Dealing with the public as a profession tends to encourage stereotypical thinking. At my store, we have a few stereotypes. Some deserved, some not. And I was disturbed at first to overhear them among my co-workers, and then annoyed when I noticed the same traits they hinted at. Now I go through a cycle of irritation: mad at the person for being the stereotype, mad at me for identifying the trait and attaching it to their race or nationality, mad at co-workers for pointing the connection out, mad at the people who demonstarted the stereotype enough to start it to begin with...
I'll be honest, I don't mentally list the stereotypes a person might play into when they walk in the door. But I notice when they start doing it.
For example:
Men: (assumed straight, most likely white) when trying on clothes, men tend to return the clothes but not the hangers. If they choose an item out on the floor without trying it on, they are most likely of all groups to simply remove it and leave the empty hanger hanging on the rack (or worse, on the floor or a nearby shelf). Men don't "shop" the way women do, they look, they find, then grab and go. They HATE trying on clothes and if they make it to the fitting room with something to try on, they are not generally happy about it and will be more likely to be rude to the clerks. They hate the fitting room so much that they're more willing to try on the clothes out on the floor, stripping down to as much as they think they can get away with (I've seen men in their undershirts and boxers, I swear), leaving a trail of bunched up rejects and mishung items all around them.
Gay Men: most likely to follow the female stereotypes of their race.
Metrosexual Men: such a conundrum. Lots of these guys get labeled as gay as they enter the fitting room because they're clearly not as bitter about having to try on their clothes as most guys (and they're already well dressed--straight men don't tend to dress up to go shopping). And then a woman shows up and says, "Is my husband back there? I want him to try these pants, too..." I swear I'm shocked every time it happens.
Teens/Male: total pains in the ass, not shopping for clothes so much as being forced to go buy something needed for a specific event and obviously more interested in gawking at the women in the store. Travel in pairs. Can be likely to be caught in the fitting room trying to catch a glimpse of women in various stages of undress, or simply watching the "show" if they come out to see their clothes in the 3-way mirror. Highly likely to crack a joke about the word "3-way".
Married Men (over 30): shopping for something for wife? It will be returned within a week. By her. Often found standing outside the fitting room holding a baby, blanketed with baby gear, and staring blankly into space with a look on his face like he wants to swallow a cyanide pill.
Grandpas shopping with granddaughter: will buy anything she wants without looking at the price tag. She knows it, too.
Grandpas shopping with wife: same as Married Man over 30, minus baby.
Teen/female: Total pains in the ass. Likely to shoplift by shoving something small under their clothes or in their purse. Travel in groups of 4 or more. Very loud, busier talking than paying attention to anything else around them. Will leave a mess in the fitting room.
Young Moms: Rude. Too busy keeping kids in check to take a second to be courteous.
Lesbians: (well, the obvious ones, anyway) will try on men's clothes, but try to do as little as possible to draw attention to themselves. In the fitting room, they tend to be very shy and won't look you in the eye.
And on to the races:
African Americans: hostile. Ready to argue about anything. Most likely to find signs that indicate an incorrect price to their advantage. Although my management team seems to assume they are more likely to be shoplifting, I am glad to report that I haven't seen anything to reinforce that idea.
Asians: Rude. Probably because they don't speak the language well. When traveling in groups, behavior is amplified. You can tell everywhere in the store they've been shopping because every stack they touch is unfolded and undone, there are clothes falling off their hangers, items picked up in one part of the store are unceremoniously dumped in another. They sail past you at the fitting room entrance and act annoyed when you stop them to open a locked door for them. Most likely to be wearing XS and size 0 or 2. Leave an enormous mess in the fitting room: everything wadded up on the floor, turned inside out, tags torn off, hangers twisted into a knot. Will not bring anything back to you, you will have to go fetch it and rehang everything.
Indian: stink. The men, that is. Men are rude and pushy, treat female employes disrespectfully. Women are very friendly, but not likely to buy much of what they try on.
Eastern European: Also stink, regardless of gender, though not as strongly. Will also not bring anything out of the fitting room themselves, though they may take pity on you and rehang a few things before they leave.
Mexican: several kids roaming the store freely, loudly and unsupervised. Won't buy anything. Probably left with a stroller full of stolen clothes.
So a couple weeks ago, when my manager asked me to keep an eye on a couple of guys in Zone 1 (i.e: she suspected they'd try to steal something), I was pissed off (but not surprised) to find that the customers in question were black. I was amused, however, when it became clearly obvious that the two men in question were gay. Not that gay men don't steal, but clearly these guys were more interested trying on the clothes than stealing them. They were dressed, however, in the typical urban-gansta style, so it was clearly a judgement made on appearances. Very frustrating stuff. And when the family with the screaming baby who'd been in the store for 30 minutes today before finally came to the fitting room and turned out to be Mexican, tried on a dozen things and didn't buy any of them, it didn't exactly please me to have noticed... And Friday evening after having the store in perfect condition, then helping a group of Asian women in the fitting room, I was royally pissed to see the disheveled state of the store when they left (given the fact that they were the only customers in the store I think it's safe to assume they were responsible).
How do you erase those stereotypes from your memory? I wish I could just be annoyed by rude customers and not even notice the connection...
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