Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Vindication is miiiiiiiine!!!!!
So it turns out that "friending" old boyfriends on Facebook has its rewards. Others have scoffed at my naive belief that perhaps, somewhere out there, someday, one of the string of men in my life who screwed with my sanity and tossed me aside might have a regret or two, and actually apologize for the way they treated me.
Oh NO, others have insisted, never gonna happen.
Then I got an email that proved them all wrong, and I have to say, it made it worth all the head-butting over the issue. My only regret is that the apology didn't come 20 years ago, potentially saving me years of therapy...
The Old Boyfriend, in the grand scheme of things, was probably the one whose behavior was the most confusing, though luckily I didn't have much of a chance to bond very strongly with him and therefore it was not so much hearbreak as it was mindfuck when things went wrong.
He writes:
Speaking of things ending... I know it's been an awfully long time now, but I still feel I need to say that I'm sorry for how things "ended" or "fizzled out" or whatever happened between us. I look back upon that time and I can make a thousand excuses about how I was (I was only 18, I was an idiot, I was abducted by aliens briefly) and no matter how true they may be (!), it doesn't obscure the fact that I should have been better to you. You were one of my first real friends at college and then, of course, more. And it all meant more to me than I ever told you. And I know I didn't always (or ever?) make you feel as special as you deserved. Before the violins start playing in the background, i just hope you can forgive me... There. I haven't been holding onto that for 20 years, but reconnecting with you made me realize it, so now I've said it.
Ah, see, I wasn't crazy after all.
So it turns out that "friending" old boyfriends on Facebook has its rewards. Others have scoffed at my naive belief that perhaps, somewhere out there, someday, one of the string of men in my life who screwed with my sanity and tossed me aside might have a regret or two, and actually apologize for the way they treated me.
Oh NO, others have insisted, never gonna happen.
Then I got an email that proved them all wrong, and I have to say, it made it worth all the head-butting over the issue. My only regret is that the apology didn't come 20 years ago, potentially saving me years of therapy...
The Old Boyfriend, in the grand scheme of things, was probably the one whose behavior was the most confusing, though luckily I didn't have much of a chance to bond very strongly with him and therefore it was not so much hearbreak as it was mindfuck when things went wrong.
He writes:
Speaking of things ending... I know it's been an awfully long time now, but I still feel I need to say that I'm sorry for how things "ended" or "fizzled out" or whatever happened between us. I look back upon that time and I can make a thousand excuses about how I was (I was only 18, I was an idiot, I was abducted by aliens briefly) and no matter how true they may be (!), it doesn't obscure the fact that I should have been better to you. You were one of my first real friends at college and then, of course, more. And it all meant more to me than I ever told you. And I know I didn't always (or ever?) make you feel as special as you deserved. Before the violins start playing in the background, i just hope you can forgive me... There. I haven't been holding onto that for 20 years, but reconnecting with you made me realize it, so now I've said it.
Ah, see, I wasn't crazy after all.
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