Tuesday, May 05, 2009
I'm beginning to loathe blogging just because it's just one bitch after another. And months and months of nothing but bitching? Oy, why do people even bother reading?
I am struggling with some serious depression. However, I maintain my position that this is not a chemical or biological problem, this is a "My Life is A Toilet-Brush" problem. One would need to have suffered a severe brain injury to walk in my shoes and feel happy for more than a few fleeting moments at a time, and I won't entertain the idea of drugging myself into submission just because I'm circling the drain. Drugs won't change the scenery, so there's no point.
Once again one of my TWO shifts has been cancelled. This means that I am left to live off of approximately $45 a week. Can you do that? Can you do that with two children? Thank GOD I get child support--at least that will keep a roof over our heads for another month or two before all the other bills start catching up to me. I'm going this week to sell plasma. It's a bit of a drive, which eats into the money I'll make, but I'll still make about what I'm making WORKING, so I guess I can't complain about the commute. Just exactly how low do I have to get before things turn around? At least if I were an addict I would be too high all the time to feel stressed about the shoe that's waiting to drop on me. I'm pretty much left with a life of crime from here.
I have literally applied for hundreds of jobs. I have revamped my resume so many times I can't remember which version I started with. I have a resume for food service, I have a resume for food service management, I have a resume for administrative jobs, I have a resume for clerical jobs, I have a resume for typesetting and word processing. I believe the only skill I haven't exploited yet is blow jobs. And believe me, I'm just about there, I seriously don't know what else I am supposed to be doing.
And the hardest part is convincing my kids that they should take their homework more seriously. Yes kids, bust your asses in school, and if you're lucky, you can live just like me. Who doesn't fantasize about that?
I am struggling with some serious depression. However, I maintain my position that this is not a chemical or biological problem, this is a "My Life is A Toilet-Brush" problem. One would need to have suffered a severe brain injury to walk in my shoes and feel happy for more than a few fleeting moments at a time, and I won't entertain the idea of drugging myself into submission just because I'm circling the drain. Drugs won't change the scenery, so there's no point.
Once again one of my TWO shifts has been cancelled. This means that I am left to live off of approximately $45 a week. Can you do that? Can you do that with two children? Thank GOD I get child support--at least that will keep a roof over our heads for another month or two before all the other bills start catching up to me. I'm going this week to sell plasma. It's a bit of a drive, which eats into the money I'll make, but I'll still make about what I'm making WORKING, so I guess I can't complain about the commute. Just exactly how low do I have to get before things turn around? At least if I were an addict I would be too high all the time to feel stressed about the shoe that's waiting to drop on me. I'm pretty much left with a life of crime from here.
I have literally applied for hundreds of jobs. I have revamped my resume so many times I can't remember which version I started with. I have a resume for food service, I have a resume for food service management, I have a resume for administrative jobs, I have a resume for clerical jobs, I have a resume for typesetting and word processing. I believe the only skill I haven't exploited yet is blow jobs. And believe me, I'm just about there, I seriously don't know what else I am supposed to be doing.
And the hardest part is convincing my kids that they should take their homework more seriously. Yes kids, bust your asses in school, and if you're lucky, you can live just like me. Who doesn't fantasize about that?
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