Friday, May 29, 2009
Remember "the video"? You know, in 5th or 6th grade, all the girls go to one room and all the boys go to another and everybody learns the deep, dark secrets that are locked inside their little adolescent bodies. THE video.
I got ripped off when I was a kid. I switched schools between 6th and 7th grades. My grade school showed THE video to 7th graders, whereas the public schools did it in 6th grade, so when I switched to public school for 7th grade, I missed THE video on both counts.
I didn't get away completely scot-free, however, there was Yet Another Video for health class in high school. We had to have our parents sign a permission form in order to watch THAT video. I dreaded that day, and my fears were proven accurate when acquiring the signature resulted in my entire family taunting my naivete and saying things like "Sassy's gonna get LEARNT!" haha, that's funny. <grumblegrumblegrumble>
That was yet another scene in the long history of my Painful Adolescence--you know, where everything implying womanhood or sexuality in any way causes enormous mental and emotional anguish? My sister was 2 years older than I, and you'd think that'd make headway on the notion that adolescents are emotional and sensative, and these things require "special handling" by my parents, but it did not. I was beside myself with anxiety and shame when I finally got my first period. I hate to admit it, I have no idea how old I was--I have to guess it was 13, but I could be wrong. I managed to use my sister's pads for almost a year before anyone caught on. You'd think my mother would be embarassed and apologetic for failing to be "in the loop" on such things, but no, she was mad because I'd been flushing the pads down the toilet. My defense? How the fuck was I supposed to know? Everything I knew about menstruation I learned from a medical book I found on the bottom shelf of an old bookcase in the basement, published in the late 50's. I never heard a single word about it from my mother.
I'm thinking about these things because my DD watched THE video today. Her teacher had forwarned me, and we had had a couple of brief conversations about it in recent days. I've already given her a book about the subject that was written for her age level, and though we haven't had lengthy, detailed conversations, she's becoming more and more comfortable with asking me questions as they occur to her. So when she came home and immediately wanted to see me privately in her room, I was thrilled. She showed me all the materials they'd given her--she got free samples, dammit!--and was all excited. Now I'm not the hippy-dippy type of mom who gushes about "You're becoming a WOMAN!!", but I'm almost overwhelmed by the satisfaction of knowing that her experience will be SO VERY MUCH different than mine was. I can only hope that that leads to a much healthier approach to relationships and sex than I had as a teenager...
I got ripped off when I was a kid. I switched schools between 6th and 7th grades. My grade school showed THE video to 7th graders, whereas the public schools did it in 6th grade, so when I switched to public school for 7th grade, I missed THE video on both counts.
I didn't get away completely scot-free, however, there was Yet Another Video for health class in high school. We had to have our parents sign a permission form in order to watch THAT video. I dreaded that day, and my fears were proven accurate when acquiring the signature resulted in my entire family taunting my naivete and saying things like "Sassy's gonna get LEARNT!" haha, that's funny. <grumblegrumblegrumble>
That was yet another scene in the long history of my Painful Adolescence--you know, where everything implying womanhood or sexuality in any way causes enormous mental and emotional anguish? My sister was 2 years older than I, and you'd think that'd make headway on the notion that adolescents are emotional and sensative, and these things require "special handling" by my parents, but it did not. I was beside myself with anxiety and shame when I finally got my first period. I hate to admit it, I have no idea how old I was--I have to guess it was 13, but I could be wrong. I managed to use my sister's pads for almost a year before anyone caught on. You'd think my mother would be embarassed and apologetic for failing to be "in the loop" on such things, but no, she was mad because I'd been flushing the pads down the toilet. My defense? How the fuck was I supposed to know? Everything I knew about menstruation I learned from a medical book I found on the bottom shelf of an old bookcase in the basement, published in the late 50's. I never heard a single word about it from my mother.
I'm thinking about these things because my DD watched THE video today. Her teacher had forwarned me, and we had had a couple of brief conversations about it in recent days. I've already given her a book about the subject that was written for her age level, and though we haven't had lengthy, detailed conversations, she's becoming more and more comfortable with asking me questions as they occur to her. So when she came home and immediately wanted to see me privately in her room, I was thrilled. She showed me all the materials they'd given her--she got free samples, dammit!--and was all excited. Now I'm not the hippy-dippy type of mom who gushes about "You're becoming a WOMAN!!", but I'm almost overwhelmed by the satisfaction of knowing that her experience will be SO VERY MUCH different than mine was. I can only hope that that leads to a much healthier approach to relationships and sex than I had as a teenager...
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