Monday, October 10, 2011
The storm's a-brewin'
I could have sworn I'd written about the branch manager job that was posted last month in Revlon. I hesitated to apply because it's just on the edge of my absolute maximum distance I'm willing to commute, but eventually applied. So did S-hole, D-Rod and J. Of course. They almost immediately got calls to interview for the job, but I didn't. It took forever to get answers about why--turns out I'd been too self-deprecating in the section of the application where you rate your skills when it comes to hiring and training. I fixed it, but not in time--they'd closed the process and were deciding amongst the candidates they'd already interviewed.
I figured since I didn't instantly jump at the chance to apply, I didn't lose out on much, so I wasn't too worked up about it. Over time, I actually started hoping that S-hole would get the job, because of course that would open his job up for me. The guys were talking about their interviews in the back last week and D-Rod said that Brad, VP's boss told him that the only reason he got an interview was he was from our branch (we're a top performer in the state).
So imagine my surprise when I found out today that they offered the job to D-Rod. That's right--the newbie.
Backtrack a little here for a moment:
Last month when we had our corporate audit, part of the score included a mystery shop from an outside company, which we failed. We already hate the outside mystery shops because they almost never make any sense--we get all sorts of points knocked off for things that we know aren't true or we can't control. One time we lost 10% of the total score because they said we weren't marketing and didn't have any marketing materials available--but we have a shelf permanently installed filled with all sorts of brochures that are readily available 24/7. We lost points for not having comment cards out, even though they're clearly visible on at least 12 different views of our security cameras every day for the past 3 years. This time they marked us down because we didn't make the routine follow-up calls. Except that we did, of course--but she didn't answer the phone and didn't have voicemail or an answering machine set up, so when they called, it rang and rang. When we reviewed the audit, Boss told everyone that he'd "take the heat" for it because the rest of the audit was so full of inconsistencies: we also lost points because D-Rod didn't excuse himself when he had to get up, but then in the description, they wrote that he excused himself. Ugh! There were 2 sets of calls that were made: one the next day after this person opened their account and the next one 2 weeks later. Both guys got the same result (S-hole and J). Then suddenly last week, S-hole saw Boss was emailing HR asking *if he could* write up the guys for the calls not being made--not *does he have to*. I overheard him on the phone with VP saying, "Well we have them initial the call report, and they both initialed. That doesn't mean they actually made the calls, they could have lied, but I wouldn't know." This is how he takes the heat? This is how he defends us???? Sure enough, today, he tried to have S-hole sign his write-up. He refused, and rightly so: how can they prove he didn't make the call? Boss tried to claim that the failed audit triggered a corporate review and THEY checked phone records. Bullshit. And even if they had: these are business phone lines, not cell phones. There is no record of a call that's made but doesn't connect to anything. No answering machine or VM, no record of the call. So the absence of a call on the phone bill doesn't mean the call wasn't made. Such utter bullshit--and as it turns out, that stupid write up was enough to stop S-hole from being considered for the promotion. Karma's a bitch, I suppose, but what's funny is, it's the gift that just keeps on giving: Karma's next target better be Boss, because that was a shitty, shitty thing to do.
The only redeeming part of this whole thing is that the only offered D-Rod about .50/hour more than S-hole's already making as an Asst. Mgr. Seriously.
I figured since I didn't instantly jump at the chance to apply, I didn't lose out on much, so I wasn't too worked up about it. Over time, I actually started hoping that S-hole would get the job, because of course that would open his job up for me. The guys were talking about their interviews in the back last week and D-Rod said that Brad, VP's boss told him that the only reason he got an interview was he was from our branch (we're a top performer in the state).
So imagine my surprise when I found out today that they offered the job to D-Rod. That's right--the newbie.
Backtrack a little here for a moment:
Last month when we had our corporate audit, part of the score included a mystery shop from an outside company, which we failed. We already hate the outside mystery shops because they almost never make any sense--we get all sorts of points knocked off for things that we know aren't true or we can't control. One time we lost 10% of the total score because they said we weren't marketing and didn't have any marketing materials available--but we have a shelf permanently installed filled with all sorts of brochures that are readily available 24/7. We lost points for not having comment cards out, even though they're clearly visible on at least 12 different views of our security cameras every day for the past 3 years. This time they marked us down because we didn't make the routine follow-up calls. Except that we did, of course--but she didn't answer the phone and didn't have voicemail or an answering machine set up, so when they called, it rang and rang. When we reviewed the audit, Boss told everyone that he'd "take the heat" for it because the rest of the audit was so full of inconsistencies: we also lost points because D-Rod didn't excuse himself when he had to get up, but then in the description, they wrote that he excused himself. Ugh! There were 2 sets of calls that were made: one the next day after this person opened their account and the next one 2 weeks later. Both guys got the same result (S-hole and J). Then suddenly last week, S-hole saw Boss was emailing HR asking *if he could* write up the guys for the calls not being made--not *does he have to*. I overheard him on the phone with VP saying, "Well we have them initial the call report, and they both initialed. That doesn't mean they actually made the calls, they could have lied, but I wouldn't know." This is how he takes the heat? This is how he defends us???? Sure enough, today, he tried to have S-hole sign his write-up. He refused, and rightly so: how can they prove he didn't make the call? Boss tried to claim that the failed audit triggered a corporate review and THEY checked phone records. Bullshit. And even if they had: these are business phone lines, not cell phones. There is no record of a call that's made but doesn't connect to anything. No answering machine or VM, no record of the call. So the absence of a call on the phone bill doesn't mean the call wasn't made. Such utter bullshit--and as it turns out, that stupid write up was enough to stop S-hole from being considered for the promotion. Karma's a bitch, I suppose, but what's funny is, it's the gift that just keeps on giving: Karma's next target better be Boss, because that was a shitty, shitty thing to do.
The only redeeming part of this whole thing is that the only offered D-Rod about .50/hour more than S-hole's already making as an Asst. Mgr. Seriously.
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