Sassy's Up Late Again

Wednesday was rolling along like any other day when I was told there was a "Travis" on the phone for me. I don't know any Travises so I picked up the phone. Travis is an investigator in Risk Management. Travis was on a conference call, there was one other female on his end (I missed her name), and VP on another line. I knew instantly this was not going to be a good call, but I had no idea what it was about. Essentially, they had evidence, they informed me, of some tampering with a signature card. I knew instantly what they were talking about. Long story short, with Boss' knowledge and direction, I had copied/pasted pieces of a damaged sig card together because it had been mistakenly destroyed before it was scanned into our system where it belonged. I wasn't there when the account was open, and as far as I know, I wasn't there when the cards were signed, and there were multiple versions signed because the mistaken one had not be destroyed immediately and got filed with the corrected ones that the customer was supposed to sign, and since they're almost impossible to tell apart if you don't know what to look for, the customer signed both copies to avoid having to come back and do it again. Anyway, I was on the phone for about 10 minutes and felt like I was being interrogated by the police--trying to catch me lying, throwing out what they saw as facts that seemed to contradict my story. I didn't waiver because there wasn't much to lie about--Boss has had me do this sort of thing more than once. Yes, I know it's wrong, but again, he has specifically asked me to do it in order to prevent exceptions to our scores if the mistakes weren't fixed before the deadline and the customer couldn't/wouldn't come in to sign another form and there was no way to close their account before the deadline. It's happened about 3 or 4 times. Here's the thing: there's no physical evidence on the scans that Risk Management can see of any "tampering". So how did they know? Either one of two things happened: 1) the "fix" that I did was scanned too soon, and they didn't believe that we'd simply scanned the wrong cards; or 2) someone in my branch tipped them off. Now who in the world would do that, she asked sarcastically?

So essentially, I can get fired. I don't know if I will get fired, but I will most definitely at least get written up. And they're so goddamned slow to do all this bullshit, it'll be at least another week before I know--even if the result is getting fired! I tried to call Boss after work (we're forbidden to talk to anyone about it, and no way was I going to call him on/from the company phone), he wouldn't answer my call. I tried to call VP, again, no answer, no return phone call. Naturally. All I want to know is if I'm going to get FIRED. I think it's a fair question to ask! All I'd like to say to VP is: I get paid the same if our branch takes an exception or not. Boss, on the other hand, gets a big bonus if we have zero exceptions. Now which one of us has motive to break this rule and then lie about it?

Understandably, I was so upset I could barely function. I came home and didn't feel like cooking, so I just had a leftover hot dog from our barbecue 2 days before. I'd already eaten it when I noticed a spot on the bag of buns sitting on the counter. I opened it up and there was mold all over the bottom of the buns! I just bought those fuckers 2 days ago! I was so pissed, but thought nothing of it. I was getting most of my dinner in a wine glass anyway. I put away 3 glasses when Rusty got home to comfort me. I'd been tempted to get really hammered, but I just can't tolerate that much alcohol anymore, and after 3 glasses I was getting tipsy and tired. I went to bed around midnight with a slight headache. 4am rolls around and I felt like holy hammered hell. I sat on the bathroom floor for at least an hour before deciding that I wasn't going to throw up and the Advil wasn't helping for the massive headache and maybe I should get a big glass of water to combat alcohol-related dehydration. Except I didn't feel tipsy anymore, just exhausted, throbbing headache and cramping stomach. Yuck. I stood up, took about three steps toward the kitchen, and immediately turned back around and ran to the toilet to puke. By 6am I finally felt finished with the Grand Purge, texted Boss to tell him I was sick and went back to bed. I didn't get back out of bed til 3pm, and haven't eaten normally since. 6 pounds down, I guess all I needed to lose weight was a bad hot dog and the threat of getting fired.

Here's the deal: if I don't get fired, then I will push hard for the promotion before the writeup: after all, they looked the other way and promoted S-hole before he got written up for his incident, and now Boss has looked the other way for the $2000 disappearing/reappearing act and promoted J instead of writing him up. If I don't get the same courtesy, I'll find a lawyer to help make my point more clearly.