Sunday, June 24, 2012
Here's your sign
Are you growing impatient waiting for me to inform you about the status of my firing and or promotion? Yeah, so am I. That's The Bank for you, moving at glacial speed, as usual.
So now J has been acting as ABM for what, two weeks now? And he's his usual cocky, flirty self. It's nearly insufferable. I've disengaged for the most part, and just accepted it for what it is--let him have the authority. I know he can't handle it, so it's really only a matter of time. Little did I know how brief my wait would be. Thursday, a former customer approached me and said she wanted to pay off a charged off account and open a new one. She had family with her--one of her relatives is a higher-up at Major Retailer. She explained that her original account charged off because her sister had used her debit card and racked up a ton of charges she didn't know about until it was too late. She decided to pay it off and try to get it back from her sister over time. I went over the rules of what we could do for her, and she gave me a check for $3998.00. Now I don't know what it is about this amount that so many scam artists love so much, but I knew instantly this was a fake check. But, ah, lucky me: $3998 is over my limit, so I can't negotiate this check even if I wanted to. Our new ABM, J has a higher limit, so he'll have to verify it for me. I gave him the check, and told him that I'd explained that it would have to go on hold, or perhaps he could release just enough to pay off the charged-off account. He proudly took the check and set about verifying it for me while I opened the new account. This customer, as J's luck would have it, was a young lady in her twenties. Now she couldn't get a job as a Hooter's waitress, but she was trying to make the most of her assets in a tight tank top. She batted her eyes a little at him and played the helpless waif, deferring to his judgement about her check, promising that whatever he could do for her would be soooooo appreciated. He came back a few minutes later and explained to her that he could release $1998 for her. "We've had tons of these." he explained confidently to me. I was taken aback. I had been certain this was a fake check. OK, whatever son, it's your name on it now. Of course she chose to take the entire $1998 (minus the $500 she owed for the charged-off account). I processed the deposit, let her sign all the papers, and sent her on her way.
I closed on Friday, and I arrived about 15 minutes before my shift started, so I logged onto my email. A message from the Risk department jumped out at me, as it contained the name of the customer from the day before. Turns out that check WAS fake. They'd confirmed it in less than 24 hours. I could barely contain my schadenfreude. Seriously, it was the best thing to happen to me all week. He confided a little later that he'd been on the phone with Boss and with Risk all morning getting lectured about the basics of identifying fraudulent checks. Turns out he was "confused" about what the code is that identifies checks that had been confirmed fraudulent. He was looking at a whole lot of charged back checks and thinking they were good. Such a fucking rookie mistake, I'm pretty sure even Tiffany might have caught that. Dumbass. And I feel absolutely no pity for Boss, who I'm certain will have to eat a $2000 chargeoff on his balance sheet in 60 days. I wonder if J will get written up for this one. He'd better, since I got a writeup for a $200 check a couple years ago.
Oh yeah, one more cherry on my day: a former co-worker from back in my Cafeteria days informed me that the company had been bought out, and the Big Company cafeterias are now run by a different company. All the lower level employees kept their jobs, but the managers got fired. Bwaaaahahahahahahahaha!!
And then I have to catch my breath and stop gloating--I'm smart enough to know that gloating just attracts the Bitch-End of the karma pendulum.
So now J has been acting as ABM for what, two weeks now? And he's his usual cocky, flirty self. It's nearly insufferable. I've disengaged for the most part, and just accepted it for what it is--let him have the authority. I know he can't handle it, so it's really only a matter of time. Little did I know how brief my wait would be. Thursday, a former customer approached me and said she wanted to pay off a charged off account and open a new one. She had family with her--one of her relatives is a higher-up at Major Retailer. She explained that her original account charged off because her sister had used her debit card and racked up a ton of charges she didn't know about until it was too late. She decided to pay it off and try to get it back from her sister over time. I went over the rules of what we could do for her, and she gave me a check for $3998.00. Now I don't know what it is about this amount that so many scam artists love so much, but I knew instantly this was a fake check. But, ah, lucky me: $3998 is over my limit, so I can't negotiate this check even if I wanted to. Our new ABM, J has a higher limit, so he'll have to verify it for me. I gave him the check, and told him that I'd explained that it would have to go on hold, or perhaps he could release just enough to pay off the charged-off account. He proudly took the check and set about verifying it for me while I opened the new account. This customer, as J's luck would have it, was a young lady in her twenties. Now she couldn't get a job as a Hooter's waitress, but she was trying to make the most of her assets in a tight tank top. She batted her eyes a little at him and played the helpless waif, deferring to his judgement about her check, promising that whatever he could do for her would be soooooo appreciated. He came back a few minutes later and explained to her that he could release $1998 for her. "We've had tons of these." he explained confidently to me. I was taken aback. I had been certain this was a fake check. OK, whatever son, it's your name on it now. Of course she chose to take the entire $1998 (minus the $500 she owed for the charged-off account). I processed the deposit, let her sign all the papers, and sent her on her way.
I closed on Friday, and I arrived about 15 minutes before my shift started, so I logged onto my email. A message from the Risk department jumped out at me, as it contained the name of the customer from the day before. Turns out that check WAS fake. They'd confirmed it in less than 24 hours. I could barely contain my schadenfreude. Seriously, it was the best thing to happen to me all week. He confided a little later that he'd been on the phone with Boss and with Risk all morning getting lectured about the basics of identifying fraudulent checks. Turns out he was "confused" about what the code is that identifies checks that had been confirmed fraudulent. He was looking at a whole lot of charged back checks and thinking they were good. Such a fucking rookie mistake, I'm pretty sure even Tiffany might have caught that. Dumbass. And I feel absolutely no pity for Boss, who I'm certain will have to eat a $2000 chargeoff on his balance sheet in 60 days. I wonder if J will get written up for this one. He'd better, since I got a writeup for a $200 check a couple years ago.
Oh yeah, one more cherry on my day: a former co-worker from back in my Cafeteria days informed me that the company had been bought out, and the Big Company cafeterias are now run by a different company. All the lower level employees kept their jobs, but the managers got fired. Bwaaaahahahahahahahaha!!
And then I have to catch my breath and stop gloating--I'm smart enough to know that gloating just attracts the Bitch-End of the karma pendulum.
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