Friday, November 23, 2012
I had no idea how bad this would suck
Black Friday. Let me just say that if you've ever lined up and waited for a "doorbuster" sale to start on Black Friday, I want you to die a horrible firey death. The whole practice is unconscionable.
This is how my night went: My store was opening at 9pm. Yes, 9pm on Thanksgiving--so all of their employees who may have wanted to enjoy a dinner with their family? Yeah, screw them, Retail Giant had TV's to sell at $50 off, and clearly that's more important. I had to clock in at 8pm. And just to ensure that I was actually there at 8pm, my boss had emailed every kiosk a password (different for each branch), and we all had to call into a conference call, where we spent more time taking role and verifying passwords than any actual business. Got off the phone call at 8:30, then, as instructed, headed outside to hand out flyers to the awaiting crowed--all of whom were more interested in finding out where the TV they were hoping for was located inside the store than any deals we had on mobile phones. My AT&T rep had offered to help, so I met up with him and let him hand out some flyers, too. At 8:45, I headed back inside, and Mr. AT&T went to get a drink at McD's, saying he'd come to my kiosk whenever he could get into the store. At 8:59, they announced over the PA system that "it" was about to happen. It was deadly quiet for a few seconds, and then they flooded in. Within 2 minutes we were overrun like the zombie apocalypse.
Very quickly, a woman approached me asking me if I had Galaxy S2's available (on sale for $29). She wanted 4. I had only 2. Eventually, she decided to go with 2 GS3's ($79) and 2 GS2's. I've never done 4 phones in one day much less one transaction, but what the hell. Oh yeah, and this was on a carrier that I never deal with because their signal is CRAP in our town. So I log into their site to start the upgrade process, and immediately get lost, because their idea of "user friendly" is to strip down every bit of information to the barest of data. What to upgrade a phone? You click on "CAM". Instinctive, right? Next, enter the customer's info--and since everyone knows that "SUBMIT" or "ENTER" buttons are for old fogies, all the Hipsters know that the way to go to the customer's info is to type in their data in the appropriate fields and then just randomly hit the enter button. Then after you've located the customer's info and verified their ID, NOW can you upgrade it? Well no, you have to click on their phone number down at the bottom of the page. The same one you just used to look up their info, as if this is new information. Next, after you've checked their upgrade eligibility and gotten to the "Customer Info" page, you are presented with about 20 inches of every feature available to add or delete off of their calling plan. The things they're already signed up for are marked off. Most folks don't want to change anything, which can make things easier--well, except for the fact that most folks are using features that aren't compatible with the phone they're upgrading to. So mark everything you think needs fixed and click "Next" and hope for the best. "ERROR blah blah blah feature is not compatible with blah blah blah" (literally, things like RH5YXTR and 55764589). And naturally, things like RH5YXTR and 55764589 are not listed anywhere on the page. Well surely, this is something you just have to get the knack of, so maybe someone with some more experience would know. I call my boss. Boss is perplexed. He'll help, he assures me, he just needs to log onto the computer so he can see the same thing I can see. 4 minutes later, he's asking me for the customer's login information.
Now already I'm frustrated--it's bad enough that the customer is standing there watching me struggle, but I am being bumped and prodded by panicked shoppers who were oblivious to everything but the item they were there to find. The temperature rose at least 10 degrees in the span of 15 minutes.
After another 10 minutes of pissing around on the site, Boss decided he can't help me, and asks why I haven't called my carrier's rep. Well because it's Thanksgiving? Fine, I'll call my rep. I get him on the phone and describe the problem. No, he can't figure it out either. But we piss around trying this and that over and over again and by now it's after 10pm. Other customers are waiting for me. Some more putzing around, and then the carrier rep advises me to call the company's dealer help line. Fine, I hang up and dial a 3rd person. 5 minutes of voicemail 1-4-2-1-1-1-1, and I finally get a person. "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. And actually, that department is closed today, they'll reopen at 6am." OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! By now it's 10:35. I tell the customer I'll hold whatever phones I can for her, and I can honor the prices all day tomorrow and Saturday. She'll come back tomorrow. For the next 3-40 minutes, I'm dealing with a handful of customers who bought pre-paid iPhones from Retailer--for some bizarre reason, it's my responsibility to activate them. I've never done this before, so I muddle through (turns out I missed the step that would have given me $15 credit for commission purposes, naturally). Then another customer approaches and wants to know if AT&T would require a deposit to start a new line. She thinks they might. I take her info, get it all entered, and "ReqCredit ENQ" pops up in red above the page over and over again. My rep had joined me and was flummoxed. He took a picture of the screen and sent it off to his co-workers hoping someone would know what was going on. I do the same. No response from either group. I call the help desk. More Voice Mail hell. Finally, a person: oh, our credit department is down. It should be up in about twenty minutes. My customer doesn't want to wait.
FUCK. By now it's almost 11:30 and I still haven't sold a goddamned thing. Time to start finding some damned customers. Right away, a woman approaches me. She has a box with her. She'd had an old iPhone 3G, and had problems with it, the company had replaced it, but she had even more problems with the next phone and blah blah blah. Oh, and by the way, she had been in a bad car accident where she'd been ejected from the car and flew 65 feet. She'd had over 42 surgeries, and she is having trouble with the crowd, and couldn't speak very quickly. She tried to tell me that AT&T told her to come to Retailer and we'd give her a phone out of our stock and send the old one in for her. Um no, there's no way I'm doing anything like that. She refused to leave and continued to go on and fucking on until 12:fucking:30. And I closed at 1. Didn't sell a goddamned thing.
This is how my night went: My store was opening at 9pm. Yes, 9pm on Thanksgiving--so all of their employees who may have wanted to enjoy a dinner with their family? Yeah, screw them, Retail Giant had TV's to sell at $50 off, and clearly that's more important. I had to clock in at 8pm. And just to ensure that I was actually there at 8pm, my boss had emailed every kiosk a password (different for each branch), and we all had to call into a conference call, where we spent more time taking role and verifying passwords than any actual business. Got off the phone call at 8:30, then, as instructed, headed outside to hand out flyers to the awaiting crowed--all of whom were more interested in finding out where the TV they were hoping for was located inside the store than any deals we had on mobile phones. My AT&T rep had offered to help, so I met up with him and let him hand out some flyers, too. At 8:45, I headed back inside, and Mr. AT&T went to get a drink at McD's, saying he'd come to my kiosk whenever he could get into the store. At 8:59, they announced over the PA system that "it" was about to happen. It was deadly quiet for a few seconds, and then they flooded in. Within 2 minutes we were overrun like the zombie apocalypse.
Very quickly, a woman approached me asking me if I had Galaxy S2's available (on sale for $29). She wanted 4. I had only 2. Eventually, she decided to go with 2 GS3's ($79) and 2 GS2's. I've never done 4 phones in one day much less one transaction, but what the hell. Oh yeah, and this was on a carrier that I never deal with because their signal is CRAP in our town. So I log into their site to start the upgrade process, and immediately get lost, because their idea of "user friendly" is to strip down every bit of information to the barest of data. What to upgrade a phone? You click on "CAM". Instinctive, right? Next, enter the customer's info--and since everyone knows that "SUBMIT" or "ENTER" buttons are for old fogies, all the Hipsters know that the way to go to the customer's info is to type in their data in the appropriate fields and then just randomly hit the enter button. Then after you've located the customer's info and verified their ID, NOW can you upgrade it? Well no, you have to click on their phone number down at the bottom of the page. The same one you just used to look up their info, as if this is new information. Next, after you've checked their upgrade eligibility and gotten to the "Customer Info" page, you are presented with about 20 inches of every feature available to add or delete off of their calling plan. The things they're already signed up for are marked off. Most folks don't want to change anything, which can make things easier--well, except for the fact that most folks are using features that aren't compatible with the phone they're upgrading to. So mark everything you think needs fixed and click "Next" and hope for the best. "ERROR blah blah blah feature is not compatible with blah blah blah" (literally, things like RH5YXTR and 55764589). And naturally, things like RH5YXTR and 55764589 are not listed anywhere on the page. Well surely, this is something you just have to get the knack of, so maybe someone with some more experience would know. I call my boss. Boss is perplexed. He'll help, he assures me, he just needs to log onto the computer so he can see the same thing I can see. 4 minutes later, he's asking me for the customer's login information.
Now already I'm frustrated--it's bad enough that the customer is standing there watching me struggle, but I am being bumped and prodded by panicked shoppers who were oblivious to everything but the item they were there to find. The temperature rose at least 10 degrees in the span of 15 minutes.
After another 10 minutes of pissing around on the site, Boss decided he can't help me, and asks why I haven't called my carrier's rep. Well because it's Thanksgiving? Fine, I'll call my rep. I get him on the phone and describe the problem. No, he can't figure it out either. But we piss around trying this and that over and over again and by now it's after 10pm. Other customers are waiting for me. Some more putzing around, and then the carrier rep advises me to call the company's dealer help line. Fine, I hang up and dial a 3rd person. 5 minutes of voicemail 1-4-2-1-1-1-1, and I finally get a person. "Oh, I'm sorry, I can't help you with that. And actually, that department is closed today, they'll reopen at 6am." OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! By now it's 10:35. I tell the customer I'll hold whatever phones I can for her, and I can honor the prices all day tomorrow and Saturday. She'll come back tomorrow. For the next 3-40 minutes, I'm dealing with a handful of customers who bought pre-paid iPhones from Retailer--for some bizarre reason, it's my responsibility to activate them. I've never done this before, so I muddle through (turns out I missed the step that would have given me $15 credit for commission purposes, naturally). Then another customer approaches and wants to know if AT&T would require a deposit to start a new line. She thinks they might. I take her info, get it all entered, and "ReqCredit ENQ" pops up in red above the page over and over again. My rep had joined me and was flummoxed. He took a picture of the screen and sent it off to his co-workers hoping someone would know what was going on. I do the same. No response from either group. I call the help desk. More Voice Mail hell. Finally, a person: oh, our credit department is down. It should be up in about twenty minutes. My customer doesn't want to wait.
FUCK. By now it's almost 11:30 and I still haven't sold a goddamned thing. Time to start finding some damned customers. Right away, a woman approaches me. She has a box with her. She'd had an old iPhone 3G, and had problems with it, the company had replaced it, but she had even more problems with the next phone and blah blah blah. Oh, and by the way, she had been in a bad car accident where she'd been ejected from the car and flew 65 feet. She'd had over 42 surgeries, and she is having trouble with the crowd, and couldn't speak very quickly. She tried to tell me that AT&T told her to come to Retailer and we'd give her a phone out of our stock and send the old one in for her. Um no, there's no way I'm doing anything like that. She refused to leave and continued to go on and fucking on until 12:fucking:30. And I closed at 1. Didn't sell a goddamned thing.
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