Thursday, April 25, 2013
You think I'm kidding about wanting to murder someone?
I have never needed to find a different job more. I swear I'm in the ninth circle of hell and I'm being purposefully tortured.
I got in this morning and fielded a call from my DM, Opie. He helped resolve a couple of small problems, but before we hung up, he had to pointedly mention that I don't seem to have a good attitude.
Fuck your goddamned attitude, asshole. You stand here for three fucking weeks straight unable to do anything to earn money, not able to help any of the guests who come in, and listen to them repeat over and over again, "What good are you then?"
Fucking attitude? I'll give you goddamned attitude.
No, I didn't swear at him. I kept my cool rather adeptly, actually, and just told him that I have a limit to how many frustrations I can endure while having zero control over them, and if everything really is up and operational, I shouldn't have any more problems. He said that over the past couple of days while I was off, a lot of stuff got resolved, so we can all thankfully put that behind us. I basically told him that I really hope he's right, but given the track record, I'll believe it when I see it.
Did I mention that this call was taking place once again on my personal cell phone because they still haven't delivered a company phone?
So then a guest came in wanting to know if they could upgrade. I looked them up, and sure enough, they were eligible. The way the system works, I can't see most of the information anymore like I could in the old system. I enter the guest's phone number and whatever info they need to identify (SS#, zip, etc.), a DL#, scan the phone they want, select the plan (or the "don't change my plan" option), and it prints a bar code to scan. Take that printout to a register, scan it, sell the phone, bring the phone back to the computer and scan the receipt (proving they paid for it) to complete the activation. With AT&T, there's an extra set, because apparently they didn't completely integrate into our system, so you have to log into AT&T put in some more info, get a special code, go back to the activation screen and enter the code, and ta da! Phone is activated. Or at least, that's how it works in the highly educational training module we all had to complete.
At the point that the guest had to sign the agreement, Firefox (the browser where all our activations take place) crashed. I dialed the Help Desk. On hold. Big surprise. While I waited, I opened an Internet Explorer window to look up some hotkeys for Firefox, hoping maybe just going back a page might fix the problem. Whatdyaknow, it worked. He signed again, and it worked. Printed the bar code, brought it to the register to pay. Now's about the time I should mention that the guest was a parent/teenager combo, and the phone belonged to the teen, who was trading in an old phone to help pay for the new one. They paid with a combo of the tradein credit and cash.
Went back to the computer to complete the activation. Gotta log into AT&T. AT&T won't let me log in. It won't accept the password that I had set just a few days earlier. It locks me out. I call the Help Desk. They can't help with password resets, they have to have a series of numbers that you get when you log in to the site. I have no idea what those numbers are. They apparently change on a regular basis. I call Opie. Derrr, he'll call his AT&T rep (who is NOT MY AT&T rep), and patch me in on the call. Opie must have recently discovered the Add Call/Merge Calls feature on his damned phone because all goddamned day he kept insisting on calling 3rd parties and patching us in to talk over each other. Gah. This AT&T rep can't help, I need to call MY AT&T rep. Duh, I tried to tell him that in the first place. I told them I'd dial him myself. I call. He does not answer. I call again. He does not answer. I call the Help Desk again. They insist there's a whole other number I'm supposed to call. AT&T Guy finally calls me back. He can't figure out why I can't log in. When I select the "forgot password" link, it says it's emailing me a temporary password, but nobody knows what email address they're using. He says he'll call me back. I'm already very embarrassed, and apologize a million times to the guests who are waiting very patiently. I call the manager on duty. Now if that manager had been literally ANY OTHER PERSON, he might have actually done something nice for these people, but this guy happened to be the HR Snothole who is so completely useless it's shocking he's made it this far. But I call him anyway and explain the situation. I have in the past seen manager give gift cards or discounts to guests who've had extraordinary situations in an effort to make a bad situation a little better. Snothole gives the guests $9 worth of Bullseye coupons and says basically, this is an AT&T problem, so there's nothing they can do. By the time the AT&T guy calls me back, they've already waited an hour. He gets me logged in. We enter the account info, only to get kicked out with a message saying their system only handles individual or business or government accounts, and this account doesn't qualify. (Err, what other type of account is there??) I call Opie again. He's completely mystified. I call the Help Desk. By now I've figured out that the numbers they're asking for are actually embedded in a toolbar in my Internet Explorer window. They get into the guest's account to activate it for me, and tell me no, they can't. Because the guest doesn't QUALIFY for a FUCKING UPGRADE.
Are you fucking kidding me??? Rewind all the way to the beginning motherfuckers, in order to get to the point that I can sell this chick a phone, I had to enter the account info to find out if they qualified for an upgrade and it very clearly said that they did, or I could not have gotten this far. Boy, now Opie is really squirreling out and trying to get off the phone because he has no freaking idea how this could have happened. He "patches me in" with his AT&T guy again, and we essentially decide that they must have been eligible for an EARLY upgrade, which AT&T offers for iphone customers at a higher price than a regular upgrade price. Opie wants to know if maybe the Bullseye manager might do a price adjustment so they can pay the higher price but adjust it down to the upgrade price--to make things right. Well yes, that would be fair. I think so, he thinks so, the guests think so. But of course the manager won't do it. And that's moot anyway because A) the guest has already paid and B) at no point in my system did it ever mention early upgrade or alternate pricing. We are screwed. By now the teen is in tears. I feel horrible and I'm ready to burn the damned building to the ground. We return the phone, but it won't let them give them 100% cash, since they paid for part of it with the trade in credit. At this point the guest has already said she never wants to come back to Bullseye again, and I don't fucking blame her.
So Opie, what were you saying about everything being fixed?
I got in this morning and fielded a call from my DM, Opie. He helped resolve a couple of small problems, but before we hung up, he had to pointedly mention that I don't seem to have a good attitude.
Fuck your goddamned attitude, asshole. You stand here for three fucking weeks straight unable to do anything to earn money, not able to help any of the guests who come in, and listen to them repeat over and over again, "What good are you then?"
Fucking attitude? I'll give you goddamned attitude.
No, I didn't swear at him. I kept my cool rather adeptly, actually, and just told him that I have a limit to how many frustrations I can endure while having zero control over them, and if everything really is up and operational, I shouldn't have any more problems. He said that over the past couple of days while I was off, a lot of stuff got resolved, so we can all thankfully put that behind us. I basically told him that I really hope he's right, but given the track record, I'll believe it when I see it.
Did I mention that this call was taking place once again on my personal cell phone because they still haven't delivered a company phone?
So then a guest came in wanting to know if they could upgrade. I looked them up, and sure enough, they were eligible. The way the system works, I can't see most of the information anymore like I could in the old system. I enter the guest's phone number and whatever info they need to identify (SS#, zip, etc.), a DL#, scan the phone they want, select the plan (or the "don't change my plan" option), and it prints a bar code to scan. Take that printout to a register, scan it, sell the phone, bring the phone back to the computer and scan the receipt (proving they paid for it) to complete the activation. With AT&T, there's an extra set, because apparently they didn't completely integrate into our system, so you have to log into AT&T put in some more info, get a special code, go back to the activation screen and enter the code, and ta da! Phone is activated. Or at least, that's how it works in the highly educational training module we all had to complete.
At the point that the guest had to sign the agreement, Firefox (the browser where all our activations take place) crashed. I dialed the Help Desk. On hold. Big surprise. While I waited, I opened an Internet Explorer window to look up some hotkeys for Firefox, hoping maybe just going back a page might fix the problem. Whatdyaknow, it worked. He signed again, and it worked. Printed the bar code, brought it to the register to pay. Now's about the time I should mention that the guest was a parent/teenager combo, and the phone belonged to the teen, who was trading in an old phone to help pay for the new one. They paid with a combo of the tradein credit and cash.
Went back to the computer to complete the activation. Gotta log into AT&T. AT&T won't let me log in. It won't accept the password that I had set just a few days earlier. It locks me out. I call the Help Desk. They can't help with password resets, they have to have a series of numbers that you get when you log in to the site. I have no idea what those numbers are. They apparently change on a regular basis. I call Opie. Derrr, he'll call his AT&T rep (who is NOT MY AT&T rep), and patch me in on the call. Opie must have recently discovered the Add Call/Merge Calls feature on his damned phone because all goddamned day he kept insisting on calling 3rd parties and patching us in to talk over each other. Gah. This AT&T rep can't help, I need to call MY AT&T rep. Duh, I tried to tell him that in the first place. I told them I'd dial him myself. I call. He does not answer. I call again. He does not answer. I call the Help Desk again. They insist there's a whole other number I'm supposed to call. AT&T Guy finally calls me back. He can't figure out why I can't log in. When I select the "forgot password" link, it says it's emailing me a temporary password, but nobody knows what email address they're using. He says he'll call me back. I'm already very embarrassed, and apologize a million times to the guests who are waiting very patiently. I call the manager on duty. Now if that manager had been literally ANY OTHER PERSON, he might have actually done something nice for these people, but this guy happened to be the HR Snothole who is so completely useless it's shocking he's made it this far. But I call him anyway and explain the situation. I have in the past seen manager give gift cards or discounts to guests who've had extraordinary situations in an effort to make a bad situation a little better. Snothole gives the guests $9 worth of Bullseye coupons and says basically, this is an AT&T problem, so there's nothing they can do. By the time the AT&T guy calls me back, they've already waited an hour. He gets me logged in. We enter the account info, only to get kicked out with a message saying their system only handles individual or business or government accounts, and this account doesn't qualify. (Err, what other type of account is there??) I call Opie again. He's completely mystified. I call the Help Desk. By now I've figured out that the numbers they're asking for are actually embedded in a toolbar in my Internet Explorer window. They get into the guest's account to activate it for me, and tell me no, they can't. Because the guest doesn't QUALIFY for a FUCKING UPGRADE.
Are you fucking kidding me??? Rewind all the way to the beginning motherfuckers, in order to get to the point that I can sell this chick a phone, I had to enter the account info to find out if they qualified for an upgrade and it very clearly said that they did, or I could not have gotten this far. Boy, now Opie is really squirreling out and trying to get off the phone because he has no freaking idea how this could have happened. He "patches me in" with his AT&T guy again, and we essentially decide that they must have been eligible for an EARLY upgrade, which AT&T offers for iphone customers at a higher price than a regular upgrade price. Opie wants to know if maybe the Bullseye manager might do a price adjustment so they can pay the higher price but adjust it down to the upgrade price--to make things right. Well yes, that would be fair. I think so, he thinks so, the guests think so. But of course the manager won't do it. And that's moot anyway because A) the guest has already paid and B) at no point in my system did it ever mention early upgrade or alternate pricing. We are screwed. By now the teen is in tears. I feel horrible and I'm ready to burn the damned building to the ground. We return the phone, but it won't let them give them 100% cash, since they paid for part of it with the trade in credit. At this point the guest has already said she never wants to come back to Bullseye again, and I don't fucking blame her.
So Opie, what were you saying about everything being fixed?
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